上帝为什么得不到大学的永久职位

上帝为什么得不到大学的永久职位

Why God never received tenure at any university?
上帝为什么得不到大学的永久职位

1. He had only one major publication.

    他只有一篇著作(启示录)

2. It was in Hebrew.

    该著作是希伯来文

3. It had no references.
    该著作没有参考文献

4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.
    该著作没发表在SCI上

5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
    有人甚至怀疑他的著作不是他自己写的

6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
    可能他真的创造了世界，但是从那之后他什么都没做

7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
    他与人合作的能力很差

8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
    学术界其他人几乎不能重复他的工作

9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
    在没有向伦理委员会申请的情况下, 他的把人类做为自己的实验对象

10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
      实验出错时他试图淹死所有的实验对象来掩盖这一错误

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
      当他的研究对象不如自己的预期, 他会直接从样本里删除.

12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.
     他很少到课堂上指导学生, 只会让学生自己看书.

13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
      听说他让自己的儿子代他上课

14. He expelled his first two students for learning the wrong subject.
      他的前两个学生居然因为选错科目而被他开除

15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
      尽管只有十道考试题, 大多数学生都挂了他开的那门课

16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

      他跟学生面谈的时间太短, 并且面谈地点老在山顶上

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